Updated: Feb 3, 2021
Validation is an internal job. Fuck knows I have done my due diligence with trying to accomplish it from the outside in. Despite what I've learned, I'll take the following kind of validation any day!
The wedding photographer called me over to see this photo. I was, much like her partner, wondering why I was at all amazed to see this divine occurrence. My friends have almost always seen me more clearly than I have been able to see myself. Perhaps you know the saying, we are all mirrors of and for each other. Fortunately, I am and have been, graced with some pretty fucking amazing mirrors. Imagine me in a deep bow of grateful reverence for every soul that has shown up to give me an opportunity to grow. The photographer captured several pictures of me walking with and in this extraordinary light. Circular patterns of angelic violets, magentas, and electric-blue in unique formations touches of gold are pouring down from my left side while also cascading down in front of and behind me. I am walking with and in the light.
I was blessing the ceremonial space where I was about to officiate the wedding of the two soulmates that I have known and loved since high school. Upon seeing the photo above and my apparent mild surprise, the bride to be, my sweet friend, said, "Well yeah...you're a powerful lady," with somewhat of an underlying tone of "well, of course, I see you. And this is another reason we knew you had to officiate our ceremony!" These are the second set of dear friends that have asked me to officiate their ceremony.
After the first wedding, now more than a decade ago, I experienced one of my most affirming self-validations ever. Nearly a year prior, I had met the core bridal group for a bridal gathering in the mountains. I recall having my sand essences with me and offering some healing work and in general, having a wonderful time. Circle back to the wedding, and I remeet a couple of the same ladies. They both, independently, came to me and exclaimed how grateful they were that I shared what I did with them. As if twirling in brand new dresses for me to acknowledge, they each had their own way of proudly showing off their new and improved figures. I was amazed to hear them both report that I had suggested specific things to help with diet and self-care, that they had indeed taken my suggestions seriously, and wah-la! They both looked healthy and were undeniably happy. I reflected on how amazing it was that one of my very dearest friends of over 20 years wanted me to officiate her wedding. And that two women I barely knew were adamant in sharing their successful use of the information I had shared with them. The fact that they achieved substantial life improvements merely based upon whatever I said (which I had zero recall of)...well, it was at that moment of recollection of these facts another internal light of awareness turned on! It wasn't the first time I had acknowledged to myself that I am an excellent channel for encouragement. But it was, as the saying goes, the next layer of that onion for me. It was at that moment I chose to be in greater reverence for myself. And now, after recently officiating the most amazing and cosmically groovy wedding ever, I am clearly shown the magick is all around me...supporting me as I do the work I was always meant to do. Validating my efforts and my life. I recognize how very special we each are and I choose to remain awake to this truth. We are all connected, and our upgrade comes from truly loving ourselves.
It's been a long path of healing myself from various traumas. I thoroughly understand that healing from addiction and traumas can create the misperception of lack of self-worth. Which holds hands, so to say, with lack of self-love. Trauma can take significant time to heal. Recovery is a very personal process. The bottomless pit of lack of self-worth and lack of self-love is an unhappy existence, one that the unconscious tends to try and feed with a crumb of external validation. If the heal-ee is perhaps not very far along on the road to recovery, they likely do not even fully know what it means to love one's self. I have been told how amazing I am, how helpful I am, how brilliant I am, how creative, kind, unique, magickal, special, compassionate, loving, loyal, fierce, fast, fun, chill, inspiring, bright and probably some other really fucking awesome adjectives. The compliments are quite wonderful when they are sincere. But during much of that time of my life, I didn't believe the compliments anyway.
Fortunately, however, with much due diligence and desire to heal, I let the light of truth in more and more. I would pay close attention to what others shared as their experience of me. I contemplated these assessments and then, if I could find truth in them, worked with the compliment on a daily basis. I would validate myself merely by recognizing that I did indeed have these traits that I was being thanked, admired, and or appreciated for. This is an essential step of self-healing. Learning to see one's self with a sincere desire to heal from traumas and addictions, is a golden key for the journey of enlightenment. Validating myself and healing myself from painful past experiences, as well as working through issues as they arise has given me clarity of sight as my life's journey unfolds. In the past, I spent much of my life over-doing for others and running out of time to do for me. This has been my fault for not maintaining healthy boundaries for myself. I have spent the last decade pulling back on this behavior as I recognize that while time is not linear, it also perhaps one of the most valuable commodities we have. In the peace of love, truth resides. Love holds forgiveness, and in loving oneself and another, the understanding of healthy boundaries tends to be paramount for a lasting, loving and peaceful state of being.
It was both an honor and a pleasure to be the officiant for this magickal wedding. Now, I proudly offer more of myself with expanded services and accessibility. I would be honored to guide you through your own journey to wellness. I welcome your questions and comments! My gratitude runs deeply for these angelic photos, my friends, my clients, and even some of my family that has all offered me an opportunity to receive sincerely authentic validation of my gifts. I am so grateful for all of the help, support, love, encouragement, prayers, hugs, and among other beautiful things...more validation! I love each of you!
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